Once an Order of Removal becomes final, then ICE is supposed to deport you within 90 days. 

In my desk drawer, there is a book of Lorca poems that used to belong to my great-grandpa. He wrote our last name in black Sharpie across the closed pages, as if he wanted the world to know the words belonged to him. I wonder how often he read them, I wonder if he cried over the pages while my grandma was forgetting him more and more each day. Did he write poems, too? There are dog-eared pages, a plain white scrap of paper he used as a placeholder, my annotations in the margins, and pictures I stuffed inside. Could you please make sure there is one of my mom in there? 

Due to limited resources and higher priorities, however, the agency does not always start the process until much later. 

There is a postcard of Frida Kahlo’s painting “Self Portrait with Loose Hair” taped on the wall above my bed. I cried the first time I saw it because she looked like me, and I, her. Thick hair frizzed and frazzled, untamed like the women of Mexico are. Frida spent years braiding and pinning her hair and then painting it to perfection. This portrait was different, this portrait showed the painter, not the model. It was my phone wallpaper for months. I always said I would write a story about it. 

If you have not been notified by ICE, you have no specific duty to do anything just yet, as it is up to ICE to begin the removal process.

The nail polish on my nightstand, the one I bought because it’s the color of my girlfriend’s eyes. Color 701 - Home by 8, a starkly dark brown with a purpled hue. I bite my nails too much, every day I make a half-witted vow to stop. My nails are stark and stubby. Utterly unattractive. But she holds my hand anyway.

If you are not in detention, ICE will send what is known as a "Bag and Baggage" letter (Form I-166) demanding that you report to a local ICE facility at a particular time and date. 

I'll need a journal and pens if they aren’t already with me. 

You will be told to bring your passport or other travel documents with you, and you will be allowed a small piece of luggage to carry personal items. 

Any clothes will do, but if you are looking for specifics, here’s what I would want: my Frog and Toad crew socks; the blue jeans that are a little too tight; a long summer dress, the kind you can wear without needing to shave; my girlfriend’s University of Arizona Softball shirt (I borrowed it and never gave it back). 

Basically, this is a letter asking you to turn yourself in so that you can be deported. At this point, you have a legal duty to report for removal as directed.

The pearl bracelet and the Venetian glass bracelet were both given to me by my ex. I was too cheap to get rid of them. They are worth many fights of one-sided yelling, unkind touches, and unwanted ones, too; they are worth manipulation, and diagnosis from an uneducated white man. Maybe, if I'm lucky, I could pawn them for cash. 

If you report as directed with your documents and baggage, then you will be taken into custody (or detained) until the government arranges to send you back to your home country. 

On the bookshelf by my door, there is a copy of The Giving Tree that my little sister got for me last year. She spelled my name wrong and drew a very sloppy-looking heart, but she wrote “I love you” in her best handwriting.

For those countries with many deportees, such as Mexico, arrangements are done quickly and mass deportations take place several times each week. 

Somewhere in the middle of a stack of papers is my great-grandma’s recipe for my favorite dish, albondigas: a Mexican meatball soup made of hamburger, the expensive Jimmy Dean sausage, rice, tomato broth, and the gentlest sprinkling of mint. Truly a meal of labor, prodding each chunk of meat into its form. Succinct and precise. The most important part of the recipe is the undocumented pinches of salt added at the very end to communify each flavor. Maybe you could go to the home that used to be hers and see if fresh mint still grows along the fence. 

If you are from a country that does not have diplomatic relations with the U.S., travel arrangements could take much longer.

I know I don’t pray anymore, but if my mom wants to pack my Bible, let her. It's under my desk.

You do not have to wait for ICE to take you into custody to comply with the terms of a removal order. 

There’s a journal I've been using to write the book I'll never finish. Inside are articles and book notes, beginnings to some pieces and ends to others, lists and sentences left alone. Clipped to one of the pages is a picture of my great-grandma and me. We stand in the kitchen, bare feet on the linoleum tiles I could recognize anywhere. She was the most beautiful woman I'll ever know.

Once you are subject to a final Order of Removal, any departure from the United States is deemed to "execute" the Order of Removal.

In the cup on my desk, there is a blue stone. It's speckled with greenish-brown spots. I bought it years ago from a crystal shop in downtown Iowa City. It's meant to bring creativity. I keep it close by, just in case.

So, if you leave the U.S. on your own, you will be considered "deported" as of that date. 

There’s a picture of my dad and me from 2005. It’s blurry and dark, but he’s holding me, and we are dancing. It’s my favorite one.

Some people choose to do this in order to avoid being detained by ICE, and to have control over their own travel plans and which items they can bring with them. 

I have the card my dad gave my mom for their one-year anniversary of going out. I have never before been in love with anyone as much as I love you…if you can call me (11:15). I imagine my dad waiting by the phone for my mom’s call which I am sure came punctually, on the dot. Sometimes I reread it and pretend they are still together.

Keep in mind that with this option, you will have to cover your own travel expenses and arrangements. 

My generic bottle of Prozac is on the shelf next to my bed. I take it most nights before bed unless I’m getting drunk. Maybe you should call my doctor to see if she can put me back on Xanax.

Also, you should send evidence of your departure to ICE so they know that you have left.

There is a letter my older sister wrote me when I was in high school after we had a fight. I am sure it was over me singing something like songs from the Wizard of Oz outside her door as loud as I possibly could. I had mastered the art of getting on her nerves. Throughout the two penciled pages she wrote “I love you” five times, and she drew an elephant at the end.

If you ignore the "Bag and Baggage" letter, ICE will refer your file to the fugitive unit, which tracks down and arrests noncitizens who fail to report for removal. 

In the closet under the stairs, there is a Selena doll. Take her out of the box, carefully. Please don't ask me why. 

ICE agents could arrest you at your home, work, or school, at any time. 

There’s a bin on my shelf stuffed full of cards, yearbooks, photos, and participation medals. Inside there is a letter from my mom where she says, “The world needs more people like you.”

They often come in the middle of the night, when people are expected to be asleep at home.

*****

Note: The italicized passages about Orders of Removal are borrowed from “When Is an Order of Removal from an Immigration Judge Final?” at www.nolo.com.