assimilation

the process whereby 

individuals or groups are

absorbed into the dominant

culture of a society,

the process of 

assimilating 

involves taking on the traits

of the dominant culture to such a degree

whereby 

you are now

indistinguishable

i think in 

kindergarten 

i grabbed the wrong crayon

negro

durazno

marron

blanka

black

tan

brown

or white

there was never 

the right color left

in the box

not white enough 

for the white kids

not dark enough 

for the hispanic ones

my skin has never matched 

my heritage 

so maybe it was the wrong crayon 

or maybe my color was washed away 

with the water

on my grandma's back

or was it textbooks

that didn’t dive

deep enough 

or white teachers

teaching spanish class

white teachers teaching

every class

white teachers 

and whiteboards

white classrooms

white houses

white stars and stripes

white clouds in the sky

assimilate 

assimilation dances across 

my skin kicking

the pigmentations 

of my past to

the dirt

it flirts 

with the shadows 

in my mind reminding me

assimilate 

forget the little girl

you once were 

when you obsessed over

latin pop stars

forget grandparents 

finding their way to

this country 

forget the grandma calling you chula

forget your family’s migration

forget the darkened skin

forget who you are

forget the person 

assimilate

imagine my great

grandparents’

humiliation 

the first day  

in the hospital 

as family members 

change my name

bi-ay-jo

turns into vuh-lay-jo

and el-en-uh

turns into ee-lane-uh

how do you pronounce

a family name

tied down by

your anxieties

you don’t

you keep quiet

you nod your head

you go along with it

assimilate

each descendent 

gets a lesson on

submission

don’t twist

your tongue

wipe the culture

from your jaw

after a few

generations of

cultural genocide

i lost my hispanic side 

i don’t speak spanish

assimilate

i don’t know spanish

assimilate

i can’t speak spanish

assimilate 

i can’t read spanish

assimilate

i can’t see spanish

assimilate

no, i can’t

assimilate 

try to sound white

act white

speak white 

breathe white

be white

be white

be white

assimilate 

indistinguishable

i raise my hand 

to my heart

and follow the prayer we sing

to the flag

i pledge my pigments’ allegiance to 

the flag

the flag that waves my past away

the flag of the united states of assimilation

to the republic not dominican or puerto rican

to the republic which stands and claps for people losing themselves

in this 

one nation

one nation under god

under a white god

one nation

indivisible

indivisible as long as you follow along 

with 

liberty and justice for those who listen to whiteness and trust it

liberty and justice for 

liberty and justice for 

liberty and justice for

liberty and justice 

forgets me.